I’m going to make an assumption that we both probably enjoy reading posts by people that have everything together… or at least, that’s what the post makes it feel like. We like to watch videos, read blog posts and tweets, and scroll through various feeds for people that have everything together and can tell us how we can, too.
I wish it was that simple.
I’d love to bring you a post that’s somewhere along the lines of “Here’s how I’m doing this thing and you can do it this way too!”
But I can’t. Honestly, I want to put out good content that’s helpful and engaging. But you know what? The point where I’m at in my life, I don’t feel like I can tell anyone how to do anything. What is my experience worth? I can’t even explain to you what I’m doing, as if that would even be beneficial. (it low-key wouldn’t)
Currently, I’d much rather drown myself in something and forget about the struggles I’m facing.
I’d like to click-on a youtube video and doodle as if nothing is wrong. I’d like to play Zelda: Breath of the Wild for a little while longer, running and exploring and taking in the beautiful art and story. I’d like to just lay in bed, scrolling through the alternative reality that is Instagram.
And those things aren’t inherently “bad” so to say… but in large quantities… when I’m using them to avoid actual life, my actual problems and struggles…
I’m getting off topic. I would love to write a post about how I’m going to get back into writing! How I’m going to pay for college! How I’m going to get my book published! How I’m going to also become an illustrator (?) !
But I don’t know how I’m going to do that. I’m going to try, I’m going to get it the old college try… but that’s about it.
I’ve always struggled with my blog, because I myself enjoy reading content about how other people got through a problem. I like reading other peoples “life walkthroughs,” so to say. They’re inspiring, helpful, and just… I love them.
I want to write ones of my own, but I feel like I’m not really progressing to the next level. I’m kinda stuck.
And I’ve never felt very qualified to write posts on writing topics: there are other people who can explain “how not to write in a passive voice,” or “How to write a query letter,” or “how to find beta readers,” better than I ever could. Sure, I could write my version of a “walk through,” for each of those topics… but you could also go elsewhere for that.
I’m just not very qualified person to do so, or at least, that’s how it feels. Even if am familiar with all those topics and could give some decent pointers on them….
So that leaves me at a lose of what to post here. Which leaves me with this post: a ramble about how I am inadequate at things and cannot speak english and would like to go back to playing Zelda.
So I guess, all I have left to close is this:
IT’s OKay TO NOT kNOW wHAt TO DO, OKAY? Just don’t stay there! That’s my first step of my walkthrough I’m starting this very sentence. I’m stuck and don’t know what to do. My first step? Take a step.
I’m going to jump back into editing my WIP, jump back into writing that query letter…
I’m going to keep on going with the things I’ve set out to do, but I’m going to do this step, too…
I’m going to keep praying about it. I haven’t wanted to pray about this, I haven’t felt motivated to pray about this. But I do know, deep down in side, that’s the right thing to do. I know it will help. Deep down I’m probably screaming at myself to drop everything at God’s feet and keep praying about it every single step of the way.
Life is rough. Don’t stay in the muck and mire. Rise up, and pray about it, and keep on going, friend, in your writing, in your art, whatever it is that God has in your path for you to do at this time.
And stay strong.
Would you look at that, I wrote a walkthrough of sorts. A complainy one, sure, but maybe that’s the trick: write the walkthrough for yourself… and maybe others will benefit?
okay, I’m going to stop. coffee and tea and cookies and organic honey flavored bunny grahams for everyone that read this far.
I love you all and thank you for sticking along for the ride, through thick and thin. Hopefully some day I’ll be able to share my WIP with you in print… or something else… who knows. Hopefully I have encouraged you some how. ❤ And hopefully next week I’ll have a “real” post for you, hah.