I WISH IT WAS THAT SIMPLE

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I’m going to make an assumption that we both probably enjoy reading posts by people that have everything together… or at least, that’s what the post makes it feel like. We like to watch videos, read blog posts and tweets, and scroll through various feeds for people that have everything together and can tell us how we can, too.

I wish it was that simple.

I’d love to bring you a post that’s somewhere along the lines of “Here’s how I’m doing this thing and you can do it this way too!”

But I can’t. Honestly, I want to put out good content that’s helpful and engaging. But you know what? The point where I’m at in my life, I don’t feel like I can tell anyone how to do anything. What is my experience worth? I can’t even explain to you what I’m doing, as if that would even be beneficial. (it low-key wouldn’t)

Currently, I’d much rather drown myself in something and forget about the struggles I’m facing.

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I’d like to click-on a youtube video and doodle as if nothing is wrong. I’d like to play Zelda: Breath of the Wild for a little while longer, running and exploring and taking in the beautiful art and story. I’d like to just lay in bed, scrolling through the alternative reality that is Instagram.

And those things aren’t inherently “bad” so to say… but in large quantities… when I’m using them to avoid actual life, my actual problems and struggles…

they are

I’m getting off topic. I would love to write a post about how I’m going to get back into writing! How I’m going to pay for college! How I’m going to get my book published! How I’m going to also become an illustrator (?) !

But I don’t know how I’m going to do that. I’m going to try, I’m going to get it the old college try… but that’s about it.

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I’ve always struggled with my blog, because I myself enjoy reading content about how other people got through a problem. I like reading other peoples “life walkthroughs,” so to say. They’re inspiring, helpful, and just… I love them.

I want to write ones of my own, but I feel like I’m not really progressing to the next level. I’m kinda stuck.

And I’ve never felt very qualified to write posts on writing topics: there are other people who can explain “how not to write in a passive voice,” or “How to write a query letter,” or “how to find beta readers,” better than I ever could. Sure, I could write my version of a “walk through,” for each of those topics… but you could also go elsewhere for that.

I’m just not very qualified person to do so, or at least, that’s how it feels. Even if am familiar with all those topics and could give some decent pointers on them….

So that leaves me at a lose of what to post here. Which leaves me with this post: a ramble about how I am inadequate at things and cannot speak english and would like to go back to playing Zelda.

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So I guess, all I have left to close is this:

IT’s OKay TO NOT kNOW wHAt TO DO, OKAY? Just don’t stay there! That’s my first step of my walkthrough I’m starting this very sentence. I’m stuck and don’t know what to do. My first step? Take a step.

I’m going to jump back into editing my WIP, jump back into writing that query letter…

I’m going to keep on going with the things I’ve set out to do, but I’m going to do this step, too…

I’m going to keep praying about it. I haven’t wanted to pray about this, I haven’t felt motivated to pray about this. But I do know, deep down in side, that’s the right thing to do. I know it will help. Deep down I’m probably screaming at myself to drop everything at God’s feet and keep praying about it every single step of the way.

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Life is rough. Don’t stay in the muck and mire. Rise up, and pray about it, and keep on going, friend, in your writing, in your art, whatever it is that God has in your path for you to do at this time.

And stay strong.

Would you look at that, I wrote a walkthrough of sorts. A complainy one, sure, but maybe that’s the trick: write the walkthrough for yourself… and maybe others will benefit?

okay, I’m going to stop. coffee and tea and cookies and organic honey flavored bunny grahams for everyone that read this far.

I love you all and thank you for sticking along for the ride, through thick and thin. Hopefully some day I’ll be able to share my WIP with you in print… or something else… who knows. Hopefully I have encouraged you some how. ❤ And hopefully next week I’ll have a “real” post for you, hah.

 

How has your 2018 gone so far? Anything amazing happen? Anything not-so-amazing?

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How I’m Going to (politely) Kill my TBR

Before joining the writerly bloggerly community, I never thought my “to be read” list on Goodreads was a big deal. t was just the slush pile of books from every series I’d ever started, books that kinda looked interesting, and other things.

I never really tried to make it grow smaller, and often I rarely read the books on it.

Until this year, of course. Until about a year or two ago, I’ve been reading mostly historical fiction, middle grade, classics, and a smattering of YA. That’s what my TBR consistent of. But now I’ve been reading a lot of YA, and have, of course, added a good helping of YA books.

But now it’s the same thing. It’s turning back into a slush pile of stuff that I’m not sure I want to read, and it’s growing. Of course, not all of it is bad. Most of it is good.

Slush piles needed cleaned, or in other words, politely killed. Here’s how I’m planning on doing that this summer, all the while increasing the amount I read.

 

  1. CLEAN OUT BOOKS I DON’T WANT TO READ ANYMORE.

We are all guilty of adding tons of books onto our TBRs and then never reading them… because we don’t want to. Maybe for some that’s fine, to have an ever accumulating list of books.

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But I like to see what I actually have left to read.

So I went through and got rid of the books I’m no longer interested in. The last few books of the little house series, some random Warrior cat books I’ll never read because I forget what was going on in the series, and some historical fiction I’m no longer interested in.

 

2. ACTUALLY CHECK OUT THE BOOKS I’M INTERESTED IN READING AND READ THEM

Instead of just finding and reading brand new books or buying books on Amazon, I went to the library and checked out 4-9 books that were on my TBR. That’s key, because I know half of them I”ll read the first chapter and not click well with it. Then I’ll have a select few that I actually *want* to keep reading.

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Then? ThEy’Re ReAd and I can mark them as read.  

 

3.REPEAT.

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Perhaps this is all easier said than done. Perhaps you feel there are too many books out there for you to ever make your TBR smaller… oh well! It’s just a number on a screen.

I only wanted to make mine smaller because I found it wasn’t helping me otherwise. It was becoming a slush pile instead of a “I need to remember to read these books because they’re entertaining/help me grow as a author/widen my reading knowledge.”

So go forth this summer and conquer your reading before getting sucked back into school work this fall!

What books are you really excited about reading? Do you use Goodreads to track your reading? How many books are on your TBR?